Life becomes so much better when we clean up the confusion between being nice and being kind. It’s a choice that we make many times every day.
Choosing nice means choosing to please someone. It means choosing to make someone feel comfortable. Nice means choosing to be agreeable.
Choosing kind means choosing to do what’s best for someone.
Often these choices overlap, but not always. My favorite example. . .
You meet someone at a breakfast meeting. They have egg on their shirt. You don’t want to embarrass them so you say nothing. That’s nice. They stay comfortable. You stay comfortable.
Or, you say, “Excuse me, but you have egg on your shirt.” That’s kind. It’s best for them if they know so that they can get the egg off their shirt now. They may be a little uncomfortable. You might be too.
Mature, effective adults take the risk of making someone else feel uncomfortable and feeling uncomfortable themselves to do what’s best for the other person. Choosing kindness can take courage. It’s an act of compassion. It’s an act of vulnerability. This is part of our growing up.
This doesn’t mean that we always choose kind over nice. But, if it’s important and if we care, we take responsibility and do the kind thing. Even if it runs the risk of displeasing someone.
BTW–
The next cohort of Becoming a Coach, the Hornick School of Coaching certification program, starts in September. If you are interested in learning how to coach at a professional level, you may want to consider it.
The next cohort of Fundamentals of Coaching, the acclaimed HSoC program for anyone that wants to get to the heart of bringing out the best in others, starts in October.
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